I was asked by a dear friend to write a piece about “home” (the focus for her website for the month of January). I hate to admit that my first thought was that old cliché “Home is where the heart is.” It’s a lovely sentiment, and, of course, I agree with it. After all, you can be at “home” wherever you are when you are surrounded by people you love. My next thought was not as cliché, but I love it:
Home is where you can scratch where it itches.
OMG! How many times have you had an itch….there….or there….or even there that you are dying to scratch but couldn’t because you were out among the masses? Out in public….with lots of people around? Or with someone in their home? Anywhere that’s not in your home and with anyone that’s not one of your peeps. It’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings I know of.
Isn’t it great to be able to scratch where it itches? To feel that comfortable with your surroundings and the people around you?
What about the “home” that is your body and mind? Are you comfortable there?
Lately I haven’t been comfortable in my body or my head. I think there are a few reasons for that. Some of it has been physical. I’ve been sick with the “crud” and it is taking me longer to recover than I had hoped it would. Although I’m over the worst of it (the stay-in-bed-feeling-miserable part) but I’m still not 100%. I don’t feel bad but I don’t feel good either. Just sort of blah.
I think part of it is that I received my 4th quarter royalty check for the book I published last year. The check was under $100. Actually, it was under $60. Altogether I’ve received about $200 in royalties……not even close to the amount I’ve spent. When I look at it from a purely monetary point of view, it’s pretty depressing. I think to myself, “Yeah but you wrote a book! And you got it published! And some people have actually bought it and READ it!” Who knows if it will ever take off? Who knows if anyone else will buy and/or read it? I did my part. I wrote it, and put it out there. I’ve done lots of marketing, but I can’t make people buy it. It is what it is. Bottom line, I figure that the people who need it have already received it or will at some point. I have to let the outcome go.
The other piece of the puzzle, I believe, is that I’ve started a new profession (partially for my family’s long term business plan and partially because, let’s face it, the writing thing isn’t going to pay the bills any time soon). I’m still climbing a steep learning curve. I’m a little discouraged because it isn’t paying the bills yet either. But, again, I trust that it will…..if I do my part.
Here’s the deal: EVERYONE, at some point, doesn’t feel “at home” in their life. Tomorrow, this weekend, or next week, things should be brighter for me. I’ll feel better physically, I’m sure, because every day I feel a little stronger. As far as the writing and other business stuff, I keep showing up…putting one foot in front of the other….trusting that something will turn around, or that I’ll get some new understanding on the learning curve that will propel me forward. That’s really all I have to do….my part. But I have to do my part to the best of my ability. And I have to release the results. I can only plan the action….I can’t plan the results.
I can choose to take other action. Like finishing this post….like taking steps that move me higher up the learning curve....like asking for help…..like limiting my “pity party” time and shifting toward gratitude, hope and possibility. I can stay grounded in the present moment instead of yesterday (where regret lives) or tomorrow (where fear lives). I can look for proof that the Universe supports my efforts…..like the feather I found today….or the email that hit my inbox with this message about an hour ago: “A person can transform, a situation can transform, even a planet can transform. Never lose hope. Under the proper conditions of love, faith and belief, transformation is quite possible.” These are the things that will help me feel more at home in my life and in my own skin.
Have you felt “at home” in your life lately or do you need to move? What did you do to change that?
Have you been there?