I was asked by a dear friend to write a piece about “home” (the
focus for her website for the month of January). I hate
to admit that my first thought was that old cliché “Home is where the heart
is.” It’s a lovely sentiment, and, of course, I agree with it. After all, you
can be at “home” wherever you are when you are surrounded by people you love. My
next thought was not as cliché, but I love it:
Home is where you can scratch where it itches.
OMG! How many times have you had an itch….there….or there….or
even there that you are dying to
scratch but couldn’t because you were out among the masses? Out in public….with
lots of people around? Or with someone
in their home? Anywhere that’s not in your home and with anyone that’s not one
of your peeps. It’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings I
know of.
Isn’t it great to be able to scratch where it itches? To
feel that comfortable with your surroundings and the people around you?
What about the “home” that is your body and mind? Are you
comfortable there?
Lately I haven’t been comfortable in my body or my head. I
think there are a few reasons for that. Some of it has been physical. I’ve been
sick with the “crud” and it is taking me longer to recover than I had hoped it
would. Although I’m over the worst of it (the stay-in-bed-feeling-miserable
part) but I’m still not 100%. I don’t feel bad
but I don’t feel good either. Just sort
of blah.
I think part of it is that I received my 4th
quarter royalty check for the book I published last year. The check was under
$100. Actually, it was under $60. Altogether I’ve received about $200 in
royalties……not even close to the amount I’ve spent. When I look at it from a purely monetary
point of view, it’s pretty depressing. I think to myself, “Yeah but you wrote a
book! And you got it published! And some people have actually
bought it and READ it!” Who knows if
it will ever take off? Who knows if anyone else will buy and/or read it? I did
my part. I wrote it, and put it out there. I’ve done lots of marketing, but I
can’t make people buy it. It is what
it is. Bottom line, I figure that the
people who need it have already received it or will at some point. I have to let
the outcome go.
The other piece of the puzzle, I believe, is that I’ve
started a new profession (partially for my family’s long term business plan and
partially because, let’s face it, the writing thing isn’t going to pay the
bills any time soon). I’m still climbing a steep learning curve. I’m a little
discouraged because it isn’t paying the bills yet either. But, again, I trust
that it will…..if I do my part.
Here’s the deal: EVERYONE, at some point, doesn’t feel “at
home” in their life. Tomorrow, this weekend, or next week, things should be brighter for me. I’ll feel
better physically, I’m sure, because every day I feel a little stronger. As far
as the writing and other business stuff, I keep showing up…putting one foot in
front of the other….trusting that something will turn around, or that I’ll get
some new understanding on the learning curve that will propel me forward. That’s
really all I have to do….my part. But I have to do my part to the best of my
ability. And I have to release the results. I can only plan the action….I can’t
plan the results.
I can choose to take other action. Like finishing this post….like
taking steps that move me higher up the learning curve....like asking for help…..like limiting my “pity
party” time and shifting toward gratitude, hope and possibility. I can stay grounded in the present moment instead of yesterday (where regret lives) or tomorrow (where fear lives). I can look for
proof that the Universe supports my efforts…..like the feather I found today….or
the email that hit my inbox with this message about an hour ago: “A person can
transform, a situation can transform, even a planet can transform. Never lose
hope. Under the proper conditions of love, faith and belief, transformation is
quite possible.” These are the things that will help me feel more at home in my
life and in my own skin.
Have you felt “at home” in your life lately or do you need to move? What
did you do to change that?
Have you been there?
you go go go ... love it... and oh, how I have been here. (My allowable time for a pity party is 2 days..) I change my "altitude" to change my "attitude".. I do something that I know will raise my spirit, like even blasting music and dancing in my living room. It centers me back to joy. Which is home for me. xox
ReplyDeleteLove this Claire. You had me when you started talking about the space to scratch the itch. You are a beautiful writer.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much!
ReplyDeleteI get sick of myself after awhile! LOL Thanks for the tips!
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this post. I'm there right now. Have been for a few years with big life transitions. It's exhausting but it's keep going or...what? You're right about letting go of the results. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting, I enjoyed reading about that.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, let me say I'm new here and YAY YOU!! You are awesome and now in my favorites tab. Secondly, I can really relate to this. I'm currently in a career that after 20 years I now hate and I'm on the brink of starting my own business. I feel like I don't even belong in my own head anymore but I decided to pretend to be the brave person everyone keeps telling me I am until I believe it. :)
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