A new friend, Brenda (she's my friend because she left a comment....hint, hint), wanted reassurance recently that the 50's are great years. Not the 1950's, but the sixth decade of life. My pea brain immediately landed on the classic "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." So, with sincerest apologies to Virginia....and Santa Claus....and the editor of the New York Sun......and anyone else who is....uh....involved (like elves, maybe), I humbly submit to you, my version: Yes, Brenda, The Fun Begins at 50
Dear Claire -- I am 43 years old. Some of my so-called "friends" say there is no fun after 50. My hot boyfriend says, "If it's in 'I've Been There, Claire!', it's abso-fucking-lutely true." Please tell me the truth -- is there fun after 50? Brenda
Brenda, those bitches are wrong! They're obviously jealous of your hot boyfriend and are trying to trash your not-too-distant, yet glorious, future (seven years, Brenda....just sayin'). They've read too many Seventeens and Glamours, and had way too much botox and silicone to fully grasp the wonders of the 50's and beyond. C'mon girls! Move on up to Oprah or Marie Claire or More! Don't buy into the bullshit perpetuated by the media that says women have to be 25 years old and weigh 12 pounds in order to live la vida loca.
Yes, Brenda, the fun begins at 50! First and foremost, you become instantly eligible for a colonoscopy! Mine was a joyous occasion, as I'm sure you've read (because anyone with any brains [and we all know you don't really get brains 'til you're at least.....well, I adore Lauren, so I really can't go there, but you get my drift.....cuz you have a brain!] will read my blog). But wait, Brenda, that's not all! There's more!
Because you have lived so many, many full years, you have acquired a wisdom that is priceless. You know how to act at a funeral (because you're going to more of them). Opening a real bottle of wine is a cinch (no boxes or screw tops, please!). Forks are no longer a mystery. But that cool thing is that, even though you know which fork to use, you use the wrong one, just to fuck with people. Because you don't give a shit! You've lived long enough (really long) and have experienced enough to know what's important and what's not. Most stuff jus' don't matter. See? Priceless!
The wisdom and experience of the 50's and beyond, luckily, counter the naivete and gullibility of the 20's. At 54 I'm way more likely to call a spade a spade. I'm not buying the bullshit I did when I was younger -- thank God! Today, if I were single, I'd want to see proof before I dated someone: a letter from the bank, divorce papers, tax returns. No more falling for some hot guy with a smooth line and a fat wallet. That wad could all be one dollar bills with a fifty on the outside. C'mon people.....I wasn't born yesterday (and you can now say that with some real truth and sincerity behind it!).
No fun after 50? You might as well not have fun now either, because you're only going to get older...and grayer...and saggier. You're at that "so what/now what" junction. You're getting older....so what? Now...what are you going to do about it?
I say, dear Brenda, celebrate it! Have fun. Do whatever floats your boat (I took a lovely little motorcycle ride today. Probably another one tomorrow followed by a totally tasty steak at a fabulous restaurant.....ain't life grand?). Be grateful for everything. EV. REY. THING. I believe that the more joy, love, laughter, and gratitude (especially gratitude) you have in your life, the better your life will be. It seems to come a little more naturally to those who have lived a bit longer (probably because of that I-don't-give-a-shit attitude we like to rock), but anyone can foster it!. You'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. You'll find an underlying peace, and knowledge that all is well. But stock up on chocolate....just to be safe. Couldn't hurt....might help.
A dear friend gave me a plaque that reads: Well-behaved women rarely make history. I intend to make a LOT of history. (Yes, Betty White is my role model!)
Do you need reassurance that the last half is the best half? Are you living the "so what/now what" conundrum?
Have you been there?
P.S. See what happens when you comment? I might write a whole post.....just for you. It could happen......