Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Crinkles and Rays

I'm at that age....a sort of in-between age, or as Mame put it, "somewhere between forty and death." There are aspects of my 50-something life that I adore! Like the fact that I just don't give a shit about stuff like I used to. Aaahhhhhh......the freedom from worry and fear and "what will the neighbors think?" and "what if 'they' don't like it?" and all the other bullshit that keeps me from living a life of joy. My way. What other people think of me is none of my business. 

It jus' don't matter.

I've decided there's some other stuff that jus' don't matter.....

Like this 54 year old grandmother riding a motorcycle. (Yes, I wear a helmet with lots of sparklies on it!)

Like my tattoos. Yes, plural. (I'll tell you all about 'em in another post...promise.)

Like feeling 20-something on the inside and finding a 50-something in the mirror instead.

Like crinkles and rays. (Trust me, you're gonna think this is BRILLIANT! Except for those of you who won't get it....and that's just sad for both of us. It's sad for you because you are too young and pretty to understand. But you will.....eventually. Bwahahaha!  Sad for me because I could do wonders with your body and my....uh....body of knowledge. Just sayin'.)

Crinkles are those lovely laugh lines that make your eyes look all sparkly and alive (and doesn't it sound cuter than wrinkles? Besides, that's what a crinkle is: a cute wrinkle). I'm not much of a make-up gal (OK, I'll tell you this much....my first "tattoo" was permanent make-up; I have tattooed eye-liner). A little mascara and maybe lip gloss is my norm (if I bother at all). But I don't think that the beauty of a woman's face is determined by her make-up; it's in her eyes. I have a friend who has gorgeous, sparkly, smiling eyes -- with or without make-up. And a big part of her beauty is her crinkles.

On to rays.....I know some women who are absolutely STUNNING with gray hair. Think Helen Mirren, Jamie Lee Curtis, Meryl Streep and Ellen Burstyn. Me? Not so much. I may not be fond of my version of gray hair, but I'm really tired of coloring it. There are a couple of issues with this. The most obvious one is the stop dyeing and growing out part. It's not so bad in the front, but the back is a different story. And, you can check out my picture to see that my hair is shoulder-length (longer, really) and it'll take years to grow out the dyed part (no, I can't cut it short....not if I want to stay married.....which I do). UGH! That has been my downfall in the past. My hair would grow out so far and it would look like crap and I'd give in and head to Walgreen's for more dye. But no longer because I've changed my grays to rays!

Work with me here, people....

According to dictionary.com, rays are "a slight indication esp. of something anticipated or hoped for." I love the connotation of optimism in that definition. The synonyms are even better: glimmer, gleam, shimmer and sparkle. And who doesn't want to sparkle? So I have decided to declare, since I am the Queen of my life, and can do whatever the fuck I want, that I do NOT have gray hairs; I have RAY hairs. My rationalization is that I love my life and anticipate wonderful, glorious times ahead and I'm gonna sparkle and gleam and shimmer the entire way! Those hairs are just rays of hope reaching out in joyful anticipation, waiting to see what comes next. (OK....the picture in my head as I write this looks a lot like Carrot Top or Don King or Albert Einstein  which is NOT what I want to see -- and certainly not what I want you to see.  Too late? OK. Fuck it. This is MY rationalization so just go with it! I'm trying to psych myself into this going gray thing by making it sound all cool and fun, when I know it's really not, but I don't want to be dyeing my hair when I'm 80. I mean, who'd believe an 80 year old is really a light golden brown with a touch of red for subtle highlights?)

Bottom line? Crinkles and rays? I love 'em!

Have you found ways to deal with the inevitability of aging (not you sweet young things.....this question is directed to those of a certain age)? Have you found a non-ugly way to grow out dyed hair? Do tell!

Have you been there?

22 comments:

  1. I love my crinkles, and my laugh-crinkles too (around the mouth from smiling too much).

    I adore and pamper my grays; buying purple shampoo to enhance those silver-white beauties. I copy Jamie Lee Curtis’ hairstyle too – guilty and proud of it. I am 80% white-silver, steel gray in the front, while 65% white-silver, steel gray with mousey brunette in the back. Even my hairdresser loves my graying hair, and loves the fact I have embraced it. I’ve received compliments on my graying hair too.

    Going gray IS fun, as long as you don’t buy into the “I’m getting old, so no longer valued, attractive, needed…” beliefs everyone touts today. Imagine how you would look gray-haired and wearing your black leathers on that bike of yours. Wooo-Hooo! Bet hubby has to carry a BIG stick!! *LOL* So go gray gurl-fren but don’t let it change your true self.

    Some ideas for dealing with growing out colored hair: patience Grasshopper…patience. OR. Use a semi permanent tint during the out growth period. The tint washes out over a period of 6-12 weeks. Continue tinting with the semi until your new hair reaches an acceptable length, then have the rest trimmed off. Most women with long hair endure this transition period. *S

    As for dealing with aging…

    1. I don’t allow drama in my life now, so keeps stress levels low…very low.
    2. I’m no longer the family/friend’s doormat, whipping post, dog-to-kick.
    3. Embraced slowing down, I can smell the flowers much easier at a lingering pace.
    4. I rediscovered my old hobbies, while discovering new hobbies and interests. Maybe I’ll write a book too! *LOL*
    5. I refuse to wear frumpy clothes and old–lady jeans.
    6. I still wear makeup and keep abreast of the latest hairstyles (for short cuts).
    7. I reverted back to my introvert ways…gladly.
    8. I adopted two little dogs to deluge with love, bling and dress up with awesome handmade clothes.

    Great blog post, Claire. It’s nice to read about other women transitioning into their fifties and onward.

    - Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooohhhhh.... your hair sounds gorgeous! I'm officially jealous!

      Delete
  2. I gave my Mom a perm at the local hair academy, years ago, and all the color she'd put into her hair over the years came out all at once. Maybe it was junky perm lotion, or maybe the girl made a mistake. But suddenly my Mom had a beautiful head of nearly solid silver. Maybe a beautician in your town knows how to strip out what's already in there. Good luck. D.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! All in one swell foop. That would be awesome!

      Delete
    2. Yea! Those two would work well also however... both are extremely harsh on colored hair.

      The perm solution is a chemical too, without any moisturizing additives, why the old color stripped out. [chemical on chemical] A client should always perm first then a couple weeks later tint (or reverse those processes according to hair type). About the stripping: that process is really drying and damaging, and lots of high maintenance afterwards. You're still waiting for it to grow out enough to cut off the severely damaged ends.

      My experience stems from the early 1978-1980's when attending cosmetology school. Then again, products may have greatly improved since then.

      Every hairdresser/technician's training is different too and may differ from what I was taught, so collect those inputs before deciding. Plenty of options, kiddo.

      Delete
  3. You could keep the sparkly helmet on 24-7 until it grows out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why didn't I think of that?

      Delete
    2. *ROFLOL* Bob's got the right idea!

      - Pamela

      Delete
  4. Claire....when did you climb into my head?? I am everything you wrote and am a young 65 years old this month. It's taken me five years to grow my hair out, just had a little bit trimmed off (all the split ends). I discovered that I have a rockin' champagne-colored streak that originates at my forehead and just keeps going from there. The rest of my hair is a combination of rays and brunette, but the streak is the part I like the best, and what I get complements on. At this point, having grown it all out, nothing could ever convince me to go back to dyeing my hair or to cut it short (I wore it in spikes for about 10 years, 5 years ago...from 50 to 60) I love what you write....it's so "me"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! A cohort in crime! And thanks for the "ray" of hope that maybe MY rays won't be a hot mess when I'm done growing it all out! lol So glad you stopped by!

      Delete
  5. You say this is directed to those "of a certain age"...

    Well I am 28, (just turned 28 actually, so sometimes I forget and say I am 27) and I have quite a few gray hairs. They started just randomly sprouting all over my head when I was about 22.

    Oh well. I just yank them out and continue on my way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was told that if I yank out one gray hair, two will grow in its place..... ;)

      Delete
  6. Hi, Claire...just wanted to give you a heads-up that I've linked your site on my Random Thoughts blog

    http://www.tumblr.com/blog/suzysomething. I've been grousing about what has happened to Pinterest over the past couple of weeks, and wanted to include something uplifting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's very flattering! Thank you so much.

      Delete
  7. OMG…Claire, just so you know? I have mad love for you and 25-30% grey on my head. I don’t know what the fuck to do with that. I’m still trying t wrap my head around new bewbs, huh?

    Shit.

    Is this something we HAVE to think about before 60?

    Just asking. LOL

    xoxo

    Jules at www.musingsfromaworkaholic aka Wall 2 Wall Photos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine's closer to 60% overall (I think.....it's been while since I've seen it in all its glory). It should be interesting to grow out. If you don't color now....don't start! Unless YOU want to blog about this issue in a few years! lol

      Delete
  8. Wow! First post read and I already love ya! Muwah!! Found your linky on the Bloggess and am now subscribing! I'm 43 and yes, I've been noticing grey popping in for several years now along with some things starting to sag a bit and droop here and there. OH my! These are the best years though, right? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Brenda! YESYESYES! They ARE the best, I promise!

      Delete
    2. I'm looking forward to hoping through my 40's cause they can be a tad rough, 50's has to be much better! :) Thanks for replying as well.

      Delete
  9. My first read and I am so happy to find a blogger my age!  Cool. 
    And yes, the mirror doesn't agree with the 30 year old in my head lol but that's ok.  I really like me now when I didn't so much back then.  I have acquired wisdom and the confidence to use that wisdom.  Don't care what others think of me anymore either.  Sucks to be them, missing out on me.  :D  Have to admit though while I like my smile lines, I could do without the sagging quite so much!  LOL.  Humor makes this aging gig easier and I sure don't dwell on the aches and pains or run to the doc to be fixed everytime something hurts- like some of my peers around me.  And I keep moving.  Sedentary breeds sedentary!
    My hair is not so gray yet but seems to be thinning.  Would prefer to be gray!  My tip during the grow out is also the semipermanents that wash out after 6 weeks.  Just don't use a dark one, they don't wash out that well.  Go for a golden blonde/light brown one. 
    I want to be Betty White when I grow up, it's my new goal.
    Gonna bookmark you!
    Happy to be of a "certain age"!
     

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yay Dorothy! I'm glad you found me too! (There don't seem to be too many of us "more mature" bloggers around. But then, if you've read some of my posts, you know I'm not all that mature anyway!)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can soo relate. I'm 41 and will always admit my years because I haved earned everyone of them. :)
    My gray is rapidly taking over and while I keep my dark brown color up I don't look forward to having the silver root look as it grows out so I'm planning to start doing silver highlights once I reach 60%. I like my long hair too much to go short. I did have short hair for many years.

    ReplyDelete

Yes! I've been there, Claire!