The first one had to do with my self-worth. At the time, I was 40ish, overweight and with two kids. I was pretty darn sure at the time that few, if any, men would be interested in me. Why would anyone want that package? So I translated that fear into my awful three week marriage. That sick sonuvabitch wanted me. Yeehaw!
In addition, I added financial fear to the mix. I was leaving my job (and my insurance plan) and would marry #2 (and his insurance plan) shortly. I didn't COBRA the old insurance. It was $300 and would have been a stretch. Besides, what can happen in a month or so?
Hemolytic anemia can happen. To my son, who was four at the time. The day before we got married. Which made it a pre-existing condition. Bad news. This began eighteen months of weekly trips to the hematologist, weekly blood draws, and lots of prescriptions, all culminating in a splenectomy (he's been great ever since, thankfully). All without insurance. I spent thousands of dollars because I was afraid of a $300 insurance payment.
Financial fear is a motherfucker, folks.
Miracles happened. Money materialized, unexpectedly, when I needed it most. And I saw that even though I had gotten myself into a HUGE mess because of fear, The Universe provided exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.
So I began to rely on Spirit. And I began to surrender those fears. I discovered the power of gratitude. I trusted that I was right where I was supposed to be. I had exactly what I needed every day. The more I looked through eyes of gratitude, the better the view.....and the outlook.
Two acronyms for fear (guess which is my favorite): False Evidence Appearing Real and Forgetting Everything's All Right.
Have you been mired in fear? Have you found a way out?
Have you been there?