Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I'm HUGE in China!

This is the party they are planning when
I visit China. Like I said, I'm HUGE there!
So big, in fact, The Husband is afraid I won't be able to walk the streets of Kumming (sorry....out of all the Chinese cities on the map, that one just jumped out at me!) without being recognized. He may be right.

Ellen DeGeneres (because she's totally gonna want me on her show....duh. So I have to practice): How did you become HUGE in China, Claire? I want to be HUGE too!

I found a website where you can pay ordinary people $5 for just about anything. In my case, I paid someone $5 to send viewers to my site. That part worked very well. I watched my numbers rise higher than giraffe nuts. Over 8K views yesterday. Today? 26 (which is actually low for me. I don't remember "driving people away" as part of the deal)!  Wooohooo! 

Ellen DeGeneres (because she totally wants to be me....duh): By why China, Claire?

Hell if I know, but over 6K of my views came from there. The rest? See for yourself:

South Korea
United States
Hong Kong
United Kingdom
Anyone wanna lay bets on how many of them read English? But, hey -- it was $5. And they did what they promised. I was hoping a few of the visitors would come by and stay. You get what you pay for....... 

Cruise the site. It's hilarious. For just five bucks, someone will:

  • Dance for two minutes to any song you a hot dog costume (for those with a frank fetish)
  • Make a zombie video ("arg!" or whatever zombies sound like)
  • Write whatever you want on their face (kinky!)
  • Call your grandmother (Damn lazy grandkids! If I was your grandmother, I'd write you out of my will.)
  • Write sexy things on your facebook page (Can you also spell L-O-S-E-R?)
  • Name a pet after you (Yes, please! Claire the Cockatoo? Nah....Claire the Cougar. Rawr!)
Have you gotten any "help" to drive people to your site?  What was your experience?

Have you been there?


  1. Holy Crap, Claire. Higher than GiraffeNuts !!!!

    Sorry, it took me so long to get here. I'm jealous. My fan base are both Russian.

    Bye. gonna get someone to write sexy things up and down my Facebook page. Goodbye $20. Hello appreciated.

    1. Hey Bob! So glad you will soon be appreciated for the fab water cat you are! (I'll write something sexy for $3. What a steal!!). Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I definitely undertsand why you were so drawn to "Kumming"? *ROFLOL* I am too.

    As for giraffe nuts, how high UP are they? *ROFLOL*

    When starting my business web site, I researched and implemented SEO (Search Engine Optimization). For FREE! I got a lot of visitors but no one buying my product. But then I only stayed open for a year... so those "prospective purchase" figures will never be known. It takes time to get visitors to your web site, then more time for them to become returning tourists. However, word-of-mouth is now in play and that can boost your traffic numbers too. From my reading and experience getting "real" visitors takes time.

    Patience Grasshopper... patience.

    - Pamela

    1. I believe/hope the traffic will come, but it was worth the $5 to write the post! lol

  3. well..China would be fun to tour, right?

    1. Absolutely! Besides, did you see the picture of the party they're planning? Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Hi Claire! You now also have one returning visiter (tourist) from New Zealand :-) I have never tried to get help to drive traffic, but I sure thought your way was pretty funny, at the end of the day, you gotta try things out.

    1. Raquel, welcome! And thanks for coming back! Here's a nifty side note for you: my father loved NZ and wanted to build a compound for all of us (kids, grandkids....). We could have been neighbors! See ya soon!


Yes! I've been there, Claire!