In my last post, I wrote about the darkness that filled my life. I was overwhelmed by some changes that were happening in my life (new job, for one) and in great fear about the future. It was a perfect storm of events and circumstances that made my life, and the lives of those around me, miserable. The short version: it sucked!
Since then, several things conspired to renew my faith, balance my moods, and fill me with hope. I didn't do it alone.
For some reason, I thought I could/should live my life without anti-depressants. Boy, was I wrong about that! I've been off and on anti-depressants for years, and I wanted to get off of them completely and forever. What I realized is that I don't do well without them. Without them, I'm hyper-sensitive, cry easily (and all the time), and my outlook is beyond bleak. I have resigned myself to the fact that they need to be a part of my life, whether I like it or not. My life is 15 times better with them than it is without them. I still didn't like the pill I took prior to my weaning experiment, so I went back to the prescription that has worked for awhile. Lesson number one....if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
As far as the job went, I put undue and unrealistic pressure on myself to A) thoroughly understand and master real estate in a matter of weeks and B) make a killing immediately. Wow. Really? Did I think I would magically turn into super-saleswoman, especially since I had no prior training? When I think back on all that, I see how hard I was on myself.....all driven by fear. I realized it was time to lighten up. Lesson number two: lofty goals are fine as long as I stay grounded in reality.
As I said, I had help. I had a chat with the lovely Vanessa Anstee who reminded me how powerful I am. She helped me find my roar again -- the confidence that had been buried under the fear. I spent some time with my dear friend Joy Holland whose positivity and optimism are infectious. She reminded me that love and possibility are everywhere, and constantly at my disposal....all I have to do is believe. Finally, Tracey Selingo topped things off with a challenge. At the time, one of my biggest fears was wrapped around the house we fixed to flip, but wasn't selling. We dropped the price more than once. We knew we would probably lose money on the deal, but hoped to keep as much as possible. I believe that we attract what we set our minds and intention on, and I was afraid my fear and negative attitude was keeping the buyers away. She challenged me to ask the Universe to sell the house in a week. What did I have to lose? I spoke with The Husband so we were both on board. That was around 2 in the afternoon; by 6 we had an offer. No shit.
It wasn't that these beautiful, remarkable women worked some kind of voodoo on me.....they simply reminded me of what I had forgotten: that the Universe loves me and wants the best for me....ALWAYS, that I am powerful beyond measure in co-creating my life, and that I have everything I need, especially if I stay in the present moment. All three of them continue to inspire me, and I'm so very grateful they are in my life. Lesson number three: loving support ROCKS!
Have you dug a hole so deep that you needed help getting out? Have you forgotten that you're a miracle? Do you have friends or mentors who can help you remember?
Have you been there?