Friday, January 18, 2013

Close, But No Cigar

photo by David Shankbone
I've been absent....did you miss me? We've been in Colorado for the past week, house hunting. Long story short, we didn't find one. No worries -- we'll probably head back in a few months to try again. 

This move to Colorado has always been a part of the deal when I married The Husband. There are worse places to move, right? Besides, this past week was really, really fucking cold....-6 with a chill factor of -21. And it snowed. Needless to say, I didn't drive. With one or two amendments to my wardrobe (like shoes.....I had Toms and flat soled boots. What was I thinking?!?), I survived the frigid temps. It gradually "warmed", to freezing. I surprised myself by strolling around like a native in a long-sleeved shirt when it got into the 40's. I did have a 24 hour bout with some kind of nastiness, but it gave The Husband a chance to visit with old friends all by himself (probably best for all involved). 

I have something to discuss with you, but first you need some background information. I'm a Texas girl, born and raised. I've lived here all my life, primarily in Fort Worth. I spent three years in San Antonio while in boarding school (yeah, I'll spill the beans on that adventure sooooooon, I promise) and in Austin at UT (Go, 'Horns!). I live in Saginaw (NW Tarrant County) which is practically on the other side of the world, according to my father and The Assembly. Oh, them? Yeah....another post (but you can get the gist here and here). My father's reaction when I moved to Saginaw (a suburb of Fort Worth, mind you)? He called my brother (the mob boss) and said, wistfully, "Well, she's gone." Truth. Like I had moved to Outer Mongolia!

But I digress.....

Suffice it to say, I've been in the area a looooong time. My family is here....people I've known since kindergarten.....the home I grew up in

And, geez, moving to Colorado......well, that's one of the places people dream about. It's gorgeous (duh), dog-friendly, healthy lifestyle, and I could get back into skiing, something I enjoyed....uh.....maybe, like, thirty years ago..... I'll start off on the bunny slopes, just to get my ski legs back. All in all, a truly fabulous place to live.

But I gotta be honest; I'm not feeling a connection. I don't feel drawn to move there. Certainly there will be opportunities for connection once we get there: church, service activities, neighbors, fellow motorcyclists. 

Yes, I'm looking forward to the change, in spite of the fact that it's foreign territory. I think/hope/would like to think I'm flexible....resilient...adaptable. There's some excitement in the newness and anticipation. But it doesn't feel like home. TH meant to spend more time introducing me to the different areas around Denver in the foothills (next time!), so hopefully one of those spots will hit home (hell yes, I meant it that way).

And other than simply spending more time there, I'm not sure what else I can do to get my heart aligned with my head. Any and all suggestions welcome.

Have you faced a change you weren't "feeling"? How did you find that pre-connection?

Have you been there?


  1. slimegreen.wordpress.comJanuary 20, 2013 at 7:47 PM

    My husband are flip-flopped. When we got married I made him promise me that we could move someplace awesome someday, even though he feels super tied to where we are now and can't imagine living anywhere else. Today is actually our 9th wedding anniversary and said move has still not happened (though I tried several times) and looks like it could be very far in the future. But now, after spending so much time where we are, I am starting to feel tied as well! Not sure what will end up happening.
    It sounds like for you all, it could be a great and exciting adventure! Of course, you will get homesick. Skype a lot and visit often, and maybe it will be amazing!

  2. Jules The WorkaholicJanuary 21, 2013 at 11:35 AM

    Yes, you were missed. :) (Just sayin')

    Ok, you know I'm in NC, right? I was born and raised in the Bay Area on that other coast (go, Niners!), and left when I married young at 18. Moved to Texas, actually (side note: my bestie from high school lives in Grapevine), and spent a month or so in Wichita Falls, then six years in Lubbock. Up and moved to eastern NM for another six years. My folks divorced during the NM years and my mom and sister moved to Raleigh. When the ex and I had the opportunity to pick a base because they were phasing out his aircraft and they told us where our choices were, we put down eastern NC because I would finally be close to family. I mean, three kids later, and no family nearby to speak of? That sucked.

    It was, however, a FUN adventure, picking up and moving and discovering a whole new town every six years or so.

    I've lived "here" since 1996, and sometimes I get itchy feet. Another year here and I will have lived here as long as I lived at home with the folks. Do I miss moving? Sometimes, yes. But I have the house, the studio and we put a pool in, so aside from replacing some floors/carpets? It's home, and I can't imagine moving and living anywhere else, unless, of course, I can get a house with the amenities already installed in a much warmer climate, LOL...

    For the record, the heart follows the head; it just takes a little bit longer, that's all. ;)

  3. Good to know, Julie! Thanks!

  4. Yes, we missed you, GF! :)

    After growing up in rural Louisiana, I was ready to move when I got married. And move we did - we moved 9 times in the first 13 years of our marriage! His company had a habit of hop-scotching managers all over the place, and there were times we had only a few days notice (the shortest was being told on a Thursday afternoon at his job in Houston that he had to report to his new job in Austin the following Monday). We've been in our current home 20 years - obviously the longest we ever lived anywhere. We've gotten itchy feet several times over the years but stayed put because of the kids.

    I actually like change and love adventure. To me, moving is just another big adventure (although unpacking is not on my list of fun things to do)! We already have our retirement cabin in North Georgia (and can't wait to move there permanently), but moving to Colorado is still on my bucket list (and not totally out of the picture). There's just something about starting new in a new location in a new home. You can keep in touch with all your old friends through email, phone, Skype, etc., and make new ones through church, volunteer organizations, or maybe even a Harley club! Discover what you can about your new city - explore the area, check out the sights, visit local shops and eateries. Make plans now to have friends/family up for a visit so you can show off your new digs and the area. Start a new tradition with your hubby once you get situated - make it something special that can be tied to the move.

    Gosh - now you've got me wanting to move again!


Yes! I've been there, Claire!