Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Where Are My @#$^%@#$% Glasses??

My two favorite pair of readers. I cringe when TH
wants to borrow a pair.
I have required glasses for many, many moons, but I have a love/hate relationship with them. I've tried contacts -- hard and soft -- and have considered lasik. However, when I went for a lasik evaluation, they told me that I have cataracts and will need to have them fixed in a couple of years, so I might as well wait. Cataracts! Woohoooo!

In the meantime, I have bifocals...the no-line kind. And readers. But I have a hard time reading with the real glasses; I have to hold my head and/or reading material  just right, and it takes for-fucking-ever to find and keep that just right spot. It basically pisses me off. For awhile, I had the distance-only lenses in my glasses, but I couldn't see the radio or clock or my phone (only at stop signs or lights, promise) for shit. So I had the distance lenses replaced with the bifocals for glancing purposes only.

Not THIS huge, but big enough to
screw up my readers!
(photo: Sky High)
I have my real glasses for distance and glancing, and readers for...uh....reading. I buy the cheap ones and sprinkle them around the house because The Husband needs them too, and I can't possibly allow him to use mine because his head is HUGE (chock full o'brains, of course). He (or rather his HEAD) stretches them out, and these are the cheap ones, not the fancy-schmancy ones that pop back no matter how HUGE your head is.

Before I made jelly today, I went through a mental checklist to make sure I had everything I needed: plum juice, sugar, pectin, jars, funnel, hot jar picker-upper-thingie, and GLASSES. I may have made jelly a bazillion times, but I still have to read the recipe, for cryin' out loud! 

Do you have to constantly search for your glasses? Or are you one of the lucky (ie young) ones who have great vision?

Have you been there?


  1. It's, like, so ridiculous. I've always been near-sighted, so I can see just fine up close. Distances, well, forget it unless I had my glasses on, but with my glasses on, I couldn't see up close anymore. Went to contacts - great for distances (and even better - no smudges!), but sucks for up close. And there's no taking out the contacts to read a label in a store and then putting them back in (how inconvenient!). Even the bi-focal contacts (how do they do that?) are good only if the light is just right and the type is not too teeny and the moon is in alignment with Mars, or is it Jupiter? Whatever. All I know is I have to wear READERS so I can READ while wearing my contacts! Seems kinda redundant, doesn't it???

  2. Redundantly redundant! Yes! I tried the bifocal contacts (I can't figure out how they make them either!) but everything had a big halo around it at night. Not good for driving! I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed that when I have cataract surgery, my eyes will be (mostly) prefect (or at least lens-free). Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Uh.... You do realize that when you have cataract surgery, the surgeon will be replacing the "human" lens in your eye with an artificial lens, right? So being lens-free would not be a good thing in this case! :) Best of luck to you in your surgery (whenever it may be), and I hope you come out of it without needing any additional lenses! :)

  4. Yeah, i know. :( Just trying to cut my lenses down from 2 to 1! lol

  5. Ok...I know, I know...I'm waaaay behind on my blog reading, but it's
    absolutely DEAD at the day job today (and there is NO supervision - the
    inmates are running the asylum) so I am catching up.

    I've got
    readers all over the place - two pairs at the office, two pairs at the
    house, one pair in the studio. My "real" glasses (which, like yours, are
    line-less bifocals whose PC title in some circles is "progressive
    lenses) stay with me all the time. I hate them, however. They are great
    for reading (labels, magazines, etc.) but someone screwed up on the
    distance part and I see distance much better without them. I don't know
    if it was a snafu at the optometry place or if I just THOUGHT #2 looked
    better than #1. They have chunky plastic frames, squeeze my head to the
    point of a headache, and I only pull them out when necessary. I know
    where every pair (save one) are.

    I know, I know...Get them
    adjusted, get a new prescription...I think about it, but during the day
    we get so busy I don't think about it again until the office is closed.
    Today? They are closed.

    Contacts? Look great on me, but don't feel so great in my eyes.

    I totally feel your pain.

    is going to REALLY suck is when I start not remembering where all of my
    glasses are. That's when the Hubs will laugh at me. I just know it. :)


Yes! I've been there, Claire!