Friday, June 29, 2012

Six Things You Darn Well Better Know About Me

I've (sort of) been participating in a fabulous writing workshop this month (Wooohoooo Jess!). I say "sort of" because my "participation" has been hit or miss....sort of like here. I'm not entirely sure what's been going on....yes, there have been some up's and down's, but nothing major (kinda). I've been spending more time on my new novel. And, let's face it, it's fucking hot out there and my motivation level is at about a C-.

Anyway, I strolled through our wonderful writing workshop Facebook group (ooohhh....alliteration.....) and I was intrigued by their Five Things lists. It was a fun way to get to know little tidbits about them, so I wanted to include my own. This rebel wrote six instead.
  • I'm not a fan of apathy or laziness (unfortunately, this is also where "you spot it, you got it" applies). Apathy pisses me off; it was the trigger for my last book, Class Letters (coming soon!). But it keeps me involved with people who help me stay sane. They remind me that I have tools and that I don't have to kill anyone today because of their apathy (please get a job.....please go to school.....please grow the fuck up). Tomorrow may be a different story. I, myself, have a touch of laziness in my persona. I'm working on it....
  • I'm sensitive. Ugh. I hate writing that but it's true. Have you ever done the True Colors test at work? 100% blue here. 100%! Or Myers-Briggs, if you prefer: INFP. Thank God for anti-depressants. But catch me on a bad day....with the wrong thing.....and you may be in for a downpour....or at least a few sprinkles. And it can get to me if someone doesn't answer texts or calls. I don't mean text-me-back-in-fifteen-minutes-or-I'll-assume-you-hate-me kind of way. I mean days (or hours in The Husband's case which is "days" in couple-time). On the other hand....really, people? You can't answer one fucking text? Even if it's just to say, "I'm busy. I don't hate you. TTYL."?? I know texts occasionally get lost in cyberspace, but ignoring them is bad manners.
  • I hate negativity. Uh....that actually sounds negative. Take two: I love positivity! It drains me to be around a lot of negative stuff....and I'm not too crazy about drama either. Which is yet another reason why I'm so grateful to be "retired" from teaching. I believe that words have power, and when you fill your life with negativity, you only attract more of it. Negativity and victim-hood/martyrdom go hand in hand. Gratitude works wonders.
  • I may not think things all the way through, but I'm never deliberately mean. Sometimes, emails or texts (without the virtue of face-to-face tone, body language or voice inflections) can be misconstrued. I make mistakes from time to time, but the thought of intentionally hurting someone makes me cringe. On the flipside, if I am the recipient of thoughtless or rude behavior repeatedly, you will no longer be a part of my life. I'll be cordial, but I won't spend much time with you. I deserve better.
  • I'm not a fan of unsolicited advice and I try not to give it unless asked. This is something I've had to work on, because I was the Great All-Knowing, All-Seeing Claire. I knew exactly what was needed in another's life and offered this profound insight on a regular basis. Eventually, I realized that I didn't know shit about anyone's life, including mine. So, again with the help of my loving support system, I relinquished my title, and let the one with the true power guide my life -- and everyone else's. I still slip every now and then; I'm still a work in progress.
  • This is number six but I thought it was important to include: I smoke and cuss. Yes, smoking is a nasty, expensive, completely unhealthy habit and I would love to quit (sorta) like my fabulous inspiration/friend Jules. It is a hope, a dream, a goal...and very difficult. I've done it before, and I can do it again. The cussing? Well, I just don't see myself quitting that any time soon!
So there you have it -- six things you damn well better know about me (I don't say "darn" unless I'm mending socks).

Are there five (or six) things I should know about YOU? What are they?

Have you been there?


  1. Six Things you should know about me, and all you Psych majors out there will love me:
    I don’t like laziness in myself.  I am tolerant of it in others. There are moments when I feel the need to “just relax”, “smell the flowers” a bit longer.
    I am hyper sensitive. An INFJ. Kept it buried until perimenopause hit – then WHAM! Reared it ugly head big time, and refuses to be suppressed any longer. So, those people in my life who are easily offended or put off by my emotionally charged statements, behaviors, etc… can just DEAL WITH! I did it THEIR way for the first 40 years; the next 40 are my way. *smiling sweetly, batting my eyelashes, wiping that gratuitous tear away*
    I abhor negativity. I am frantically looking for the nearest exit when around bad-vibes. My parents hail from large families, riddled with emotional depressing dramas, verbal abuses, etc. Why I enjoy the peace, quiet of country living; centered in the USA from either parent, sibling, and other family members. Yea… now everyone enjoys visiting me!! *huge sigh* Also, I am retired from corporate America – I Do Not Miss It! *LOL* UGH!  Office politics was the worse.
    I never intend to offend or treat someone poorly, but when realizing I have its dealt with immediately. Treating ME poorly, intentionally or otherwise, is an experience anyone will have one time. Afterwards, I will politely approach with caution, with steel cased barriers in place. NEVER will those barriers be let down when around them. Yea, been burned very badly in the past.
    Having been ridiculed all my life by overly critical family and friends, unsolicited advice is never forth coming from me. I will literally take the long, high road around it even when advice is asked for. I will share personal experiences as “ideas” for use. It’s mostly a matter of not offending anyone why I refrain from this activity. I prefer peace over adversity – any day.
    I use to smoke (5 years quitting) and still cuss. Me and the “F” word are buddies, even in polite conversation. *S* I miss smoking because it was my best-est friend, especially when the world overwhelmed me. I am always amazed to discover others who still smoke today. I thought I was the last one to give it up. *LOL*

  2. If I've slipped into negativity here it's because I'm still new to the "attitude of gratitude" and turning things around into positive statements.   I am committed to being a positive (or, at the very least, make people think) influence in my blogs: (Random Thoughts),, and drop in!
    My confession below:

    On Creature Comforts yesterday I read about a commitment to honesty
    in our blogs.  We create an idealized version of what we want others to
    read and believe about us.  So, today I’m being open and honest with

    1. I needed the reminder to stop wasting the rest of my life because I
    am!  I got disgusted with myself yesterday and made the post so I’d see
    it here when I open it to write.  I love writing in my blogs…especially
    the journal that is mine alone and no one ever has access to (I
    fervently hope that’s true!) but I need to get out and “be” somewhere
    other than at my computer.

    2.  I wrote in my blog SuzySomething Thinks Out Loud that I lost my
    son to suicide in 2008.  I cannot begin to tell you how that has changed
    me and the direction I’ve gone in.  The night before he hung himself we
    had a lovely conversation and there was no indication of his plans
    (though he had made meticulous preparations so others would not be
    inconvenienced by his act) so I was not expecting the phone call I
    received at 2:30 in the morning.  The one thing that has been positive
    about his death is that he was so enthusiastic about me finishing my
    degree.  He encouraged me and then he told me that this was something I
    actually had to do and to FINISH.

    3.  Which leads me to my next confession…I am a great starter, but
    once I’ve learned what I need to from whatever I begin, I tend to leave
    it and take the knowledge for future reference.  (as in “I don’t think
    I’ll do this again”)

    4.  My thoughts really are random…in the course of a day my
    mind will roam all over the place because I have ADHD and even at 65 it
    still has an impact on my ability to think constructively. I have
    learned to compensate for it…but it is always present and often I forget
    that I need to bring my thoughts back to what I am doing at the time. 
    It’s been especially challenging in my school work.  I will graduate in
    October, due to my son’s wishes that I actually FINISH something…I
    promised I would do it and I will.

    5.  I wish I had someone to bounce all of this off of, but I don’t. 
    My support group has either passed away, moved away, or turned away from
    me—and I am trying to build a new group.  Having a support system at my
    age is very important.  I started my blogs as a way of communicating
    with others.

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find a new support system through your blogs. Keep working on that gratitude! 

  4. Pamela, I think we were twins separated at birth! I can relate to so much of this! I'm working on what to do when people treat me badly. I am the Queen of the Infinite Second Chance and sometimes it's one (or two) times too many. But I'm soooooo not the doormat I used to be! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. hmm things to know about me (and i think you are fabulous by the way!)

    I dont have alot of time off
    i cant answer texts because i dont have a cell phone that texts and the one i have i cant figure it stays off unless i'm on a work trip..haha.
    I am a procrasinator on some things..just not work. i have deadlines, you know!!
    I dont swear...much. its a shocker to people when i do and they then know something is up..LOL!!
    and as i'm sure you noticed, i dont use alot of punctuation. sorry. it probably grates on you, but with arthritis in my hands its hard enough to type!!

  6. Love the straight-up honesty. And I am right with you on the unsolicited advice drives me nuts!

  7. No worries, Holly! I never grade my commenters! lol Trust me, after 10 years teaching, I've seen it all!

  8. Thanks, Jess!

  9. Still checking in here but was on vacation and missed a few posts...
    Things you should know about me....
    1. I was in my mid forties before I realised I deserved to spend time and attention on my needs instead of everyone else (ie my husband).  That was when I began to explore my spirituality and meditation and left religion behind for good. 
    2.  I also abhor negativity.  I leave those people and situations as soon as possible. 
    3.  I do not judge others, it's their life, not mine.  Their lessons, not mine, I got my own stuff to figure out!
    4.  If I say the F word, everyone knows I am extremely pissed off and shit is going to hit the fan.  I am beyond being nice at that point.  It shocks them so much that they know I mean business lol- so either the crap stops now or they are going to be very sorry!  Sometimes they just run hehehe. 
    5.  Bad grammar irritates me too!  I used to correct my fiance's letters to me in college.  Hey, you misspelled beautiful.  Geez how unappreciative was that?!  Anyhow, you know the word that bugs me right now?  I see bloggers using wahlah or some such variation all the time....really? wahlah?....omg it's VOILA` people!  It's French, spell it right!  And "alot" is not one word.  Sigh.  Don't get me started.  Ok fine, I am judging their English lol.  Mostly I just want to have the right to edit the mistakes.  Excuse me while I fix your spelling, ok?
    6.  I have discovered after 39 years of togetherness with the same man (since hs) that I really want to be alone now.  If I was single and met him right now, I would not be interested at all.  I like me more without his presence.  Not sure what I am going to do.  Scary stuff.

  10. Claire, I loved this 6 things about you.  Very cheeky and spunky.  Can't wait to get your book.  :)


Yes! I've been there, Claire!