The Ten Second Kiss

A friend is always good to have, but a lover's kiss is better than angels raining down on me. -- Dave Matthews

My husband and I have been married almost three years. It is his first, my....uh....more than first (I may write about that someday if I become really brave...I promised to be authentic, remember?). Since we had both been in relationships (and didn't want to fuck this one up), we attended a pre-marital class sponsored by Twogether in Texas (http://www.twogetherintexas.com). It was an excellent class, highly recommended, and we discovered new ways of communicating. You also get a discount on your marriage license and the option of waiving the 72 hour waiting period. We waived the waiver and married two months later.

Communication is a wonderful thing -- and there are so many ways to get your point across. Words and language are the first and most obvious forms of communication. As a former English teacher, I'm fond of this method. Body language sends clear signals, if you're paying attention. I'm especially fond of the one finger salute. But, perhaps, my favorite form of communication, with The Husband anyway, is kissing. I'm especially, especially fond of this.

Of course, The Husband is undoubtedly the best kisser in the galaxy. Not that anyone other than I will ever know that.... And I'm sorry for that, because it is a glorious thing. Nonetheless, he's mine and so are his lips. Did I mention I'm a really good shot with my .45?

But I digress...

One of the best tips we received from our class was the Ten Second Kiss. It is not meant to be a prelude to sex; it is a way to connect and communicate at the end of the day. But it's not without passion. Our Ten Second Kiss is chock full o' passion, but the primary ingredient is love.

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. -- Christian Nestell Bovee

Let's face it, during the day, we generally peck, sometimes smooch, but rarely kiss. In the "old days" ---  the time before the Ten Second Kiss -- passionate kissing was code for sex, which, while wonderful, wasn't necessarily desired. The beauty of the Ten Second Kiss is that all pressure is removed. It's as much of our bedtime routine as brushing our teeth, but far from perfunctory or banal (aren't those great words?). It is a heartfelt communication of our love...a connection of our hearts. And if we are away from each other or sick (and tired of passing bugs back and forth), I miss it terribly.

How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said. -- Victor Hugo

I urge you to try the Ten Second Kiss. Make it a part of your nightly routine. No pressure, no sex (necesssarily), just one long, slow, magnificent kiss. It speaks volumes. You'll thank me.

Have you tried kissing without expectations? Do you have an endearing bedtime routine you'd like to share? How do you communicate in your relationship?

Have you been there?