A relative of mine shot himself when I was in my early 20's. It was sad......and really confusing. I didn't understand how he could do that to his family. Apparently he had planned it for awhile, making preparations that would "help out".....afterward. I suppose he tried to make his passing as easy as possible. Still, I think we would have rather had him with us for awhile longer.
My next bout with suicide came from a boyfriend. I learned that he had psychological issues, and he eventaully behaved in a way that frightened me, so I broke off our relationship. He called me, upset about the break up, blamed me for his sorrow, and shot himself.....over the phone, while I listened. I carried a ton of guilt for quite awhile, but got some help and worked through it.
I can't even fathom the depth of pain and hopelessness that makes suicide seem like a good option. I've been through my share of challenges, but I've also seen that life eventually comes back around to the plus side. I believe that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I understand that there are chemical imbalances and other mental issues that can play into that particular decision. Still, I pray that anyone contemplating suicide would try to hang on until the feelings pass. Or call the Suicide Prevention Hotline. Talk to a friend or family member. Something. Anything. Please.
In more traditional Monday Morsel news, we went out of town for a week. I didn't go crazy with my eating or exercise, but I wasn't too strict either. And yet, amazingly enough, I lost a pound....in spite of myself. Wooohoooooo!! In the past, I have definitely used a vacation or holiday as an excuse to overeat. This time, I was mindful, but I still enjoyed myself. It seemed like a pretty balanced way to do things!
Have you had any experience with suicide? What are your thoughts? Have you thrown caution to the wind with an eating or exercise plan while on vacation?
Have you been there?
Yes, I've had experience with suicide. My son hung himself four years ago, followed by a godchild's suicide, followed by my son-in-law's suicide...all in a six-month cluster. The loss of my son has been very hard to accept, but this year has been a little easier and I'm hoping that in time I'll be less emotional about it. He was discouraged about his life (he was 35) and had done as your relative did preparing everything as much as he could before he died. He had made the decision and was serious about it--no indication that it was coming, just very final. My godchild was 18 and had an argument with her boyfriend, rushed home and hung herself from a tree in the back yard. We think she was expecting her family to return home in a few minutes and rescue her. Unfortunately they were delayed. My son-in-law suffered from PTSD from flying bodies and pieces of humans and what was left of others from Iraq and Afghanistan to the US for medical treatment or burial. He had made 2 half-hearted attempts, but this time he was serious because he slit his femoral artery and quietly bled to death...in the shower so it wouldn't leave a mess.ReplyDelete
As you say, the level of despair that drives a person to suicide is beyond imagining. As a survivor, living with such loss is about the worse thing that can happen to a parent or loved one...and it goes on for the rest of your life. I completely agree with you that people feeling such despair should try to hang on, use the support that is available to them, and see that whatever they were seeking relief from soon passes and life is a gift not to be ignored.
I'm so sorry for your losses. You're right.....it stays with you forever. Thanks for sharing, Suzy.ReplyDelete
My brother-in-law committed suicide 10 years ago at the age of 36, leaving a wife and three young children. He did leave a note. This: "I believe that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," is absolutely true. His note set out his gripes with people, and how he felt he was treated unfairly. It didn't mention any family members, at all. He had a history of depression, which was never treated (because he refused) and a previous suicide attempt at age 19. I remember thinking, "All those things he put in his note were solvable problems." His final words in the note? "Screw all of you." Wow, what wonderful last words to leave for your parents, wife, children, brother. I also believe that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can ever do.ReplyDelete
Claire (name twin!) I'm so sorry about your brother. And I agree -- it's an incredibly selfish act. Thanks for reading and commenting.ReplyDelete