Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Adventures of Straddle and One Knight: Introductions

Straddle: Hi, y'all, I'm Straddle. My ol' man is One Knight. You know, kinda like my one knight in shining armor...which he is. *giggle* I was raised up out in West Texas, spendin' my days out on the plains with the cows and horses. You may be wonderin' how I got my name. Well, when I was little, I was always tryin' to jump on the back of animals an' ride 'em. So they called me Straddle, cuz I was always straddlin' stuff. Now, the only things I straddle are my bike -- I call her Kitten, but she roars like I lion.....rwar! *giggle* and, every now and then I straddle my ol' man. *giggle* if you know what I mean. *giggle*  I been ridin' Kitten for five years now an' we've had some mighty good times together. Tell these fine folks about yourself, One Knight.

One Knight: Aight. Like Straddle said, my name's One Knight. Me and her's been together since dirt was new, so I finally let 'er have a bike of her own. I guess that's about it.

Straddle: Naw, One Knight. Tell 'em 'bout your bike an' where you grew up an' shit.

One Knight: Aight. My bike is my baby. I had this bike fer twenty years an' I don't want no other. Hell, I'd trade in Straddle 'fore I'd trade ol' Thunderbolt here.

Straddle: Hey!

One Knight: Sorry, babe. I can't lie to these folks. Oh, I love 'er, don't get me wrong, but there's just somethin' about havin' 1800 cc's between your legs that a woman jus' can't give ya.

Straddle: That's true. *sigh* Tell 'em how we met. *giggle*

One Knight: Aight. We was at this biker rally, see, an' I seen this bitch ridin' on the back of Spider's bike, an' it was luuuuv at first sight. So, I gone over to Spider, knocked him clean out, and claimed 'er for me.

Straddle: Isn't that romantical? *giggle* We been together ever since. *giggle*

One Knight: Oh yeah, I grew up in Texas too.

Straddle: Tell 'em our new job.

One Knight: Aight. Well, this here blog lady asked us if she could write about our adventures an' pay us big bucks fer the priv'lige. Beats the hell outta dealin' drugs and runnin' guns. No cops.

Straddle: Yeah, it's gonna be fun! So keep readin' folks. You never know where we might turn up.

One Knight: Later 'taters!


  1. Nice to see Straddle and One Knight are so friendly.
    I was worried they'd just be stone cold.

  2. *groan* you should be sorry EG! lol

  3. Adorable! I love this post. *S* Your lawn, bike-riding gnomes are too cute.When I get my own lawn gnomes they will wear kilts while hunting with their loyal Scottish Terriers.  Yep, yep, yep...

  4. Lol -- send a picture!


Yes! I've been there, Claire!