Wednesday, June 13, 2012

An Interview with Lady and Duchess

Duchess bugged me for weeks to interview her (and Lady, too, if I absolutely had to include her) and this seemed as good a time as any, so please sit back, relax and read what my dogs have to say.....


First, would you please tell us about your breed.
Lady: I'm a pedigreed Boxer from the finest lineage around, unlike the mongrel. "Queen" would have been a better name than "Lady" but I forgive my Humans for their misstep in the naming process. At least they recognized royalty when they met me.


Duchess: I may not be full bred, but I'm way more fun than Miss Snootyfur. I'm part American Bulldog and part Pit Bull Terrier. I like to think that I have the best of both breeds. I'm a two-fer! Two, two, two-fer the price of one! Woohooooo!


What do you like to do for fun?
Duchess: Coolest. Thing. Ever. Wooohoooo!
D: I like to run and jump and play. I have the coolest ball in the world. It's a ball...it's a tugging toy....it's two balls in one. Another two-fer --  like me! Wooohooooo! I can fetch it or try to yank it out of someone's hands. I'm a badass with that ball. Or anything really....'cause that's how I roll. For my real fun, I like to fuck with Lady.


L: I simply watch the mongrel make a fool out of herself. Trust me, it is enough entertainment for a lifetime.


Do you have a favorite food?
D: I'll eat almost anything. Woohoooo! Except lettuce.  


L: Although I believe I should have a personal chef, I tolerate the food I am given. However, I don't gobble my food like a peasant....or like the mongrel. First, I inhale the bouquet of my meal, appreciating the various aromas as one would a fine wine, then oh-so-delicately take a morsel in my mouth and chew it thoroughly before moving on. I'm rahther picky, but that's only because I deserve the best.


What are the best and worst things about your Humans?
Lady: Of course, I'm on a pillow. Don't you know
anything about royalty? Peasant.
L: For some unknown reason, they have put me on a diet. No more tasty tidbits from the table....no more scrumptious samplings.....no more delectable delights. *Sigh* I'm just a tiny wisp of a thing. I don't understand...... *Sigh*  I suppose my favorite thing is when I can sit in a lap and give one of them a hug. It's wonderful for both of us, as evidenced by their moans and groans of pure joy at my nearness.


D: Joy? You gotta be kidding me! They are in pain. You're killing them because you are humongous! That's why they put you on a diet.....dumb bitch. Sheesh! 


L: Ugh. You're so.....common. But please continue. I'm positively breathless waiting to hear what you have to say next.


D: OK....best thing is that they play with me! Wooohoooo! They throw my favorite ball or wrestle with me. I usually win, of course, badass that I am. Worst thing? Obviously when they don't play with me.....or pet me....or especially if they pet Miss Snootyfur. That really raises my hackles. But she lives here too, so I guess they have to pay her some attention. Psssttt....I really think it's just mercy petting cuz she's so fat and wrinkly. And she snores!


L: It is not a mercy petting, as you so crudely put it. The very idea! I'm beautiful and adored....as is right and proper.


D: Is too!


L: Is NOT!


D: Too!


L: NOOOOOTTTTTTTT!


Soooooo, apparently the interview is over while the girls work out their differences. Thanks for stopping by and for your patience in recent weeks. I haven't been doing as much posting as usual, but I truly appreciate your loyalty. Come back!


Have you had interesting conversations with your pet(s)? 


Have you been there?











7 comments:

  1. haha This is great! I love your Duchess girl. My boy, Titan, is american bulldog & american staffordshire terrier. I can definitely see a resemblance in their faces. :) 

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love your Lady and Dutchess. I am owned by two Toy Fox Terrier, Finn and Echo. My pint size killer watch dogs.  Yes, I have conversations with my babies every day.  They know all my secrets, joys and hurts. Their unwavering loyalty reminds me I am never alone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bob The Water CatJune 18, 2012 at 4:00 AM

    dogs . . . . . . . . . . . . i got nothin.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I assume Lady speaks with a British accent?

    I just have this picture of her in my mind being all like "That was simmmmply genius Duchess, I wish I had said that" all primly and sarcastically and Britishy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Absolutely! That's exactly how she speaks and acts!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't know what I'd do without my girls!

    ReplyDelete
  7. She's a beauty! Thanks for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete

Yes! I've been there, Claire!